top of page

Adult Fairy Tale: Tinderella

illustration of Tinderella in a blue dress holding a phone with a Tinder flame above it
Tinderella illustrated by Melissa Sue

Once upon a time, there was a girl named August. One evening, while on break from sewing her evil stepmother’s dresses to emulate the latest designs from Maki Oh and cleaning up the mess that her stepsisters made after their last TikTok video, August sat out on the stairs of their three-story townhouse in the part of Harlem, New York that hadn’t been gentrified yet.

When her dad was away on a business trip she wasn’t allowed a lot of time to herself. The other women of the house kept her pretty busy running errands, cleaning, or tending to their every need. It was her stepmother’s dream to make it on the next season of Love & Hip Hop so they all had to keep up appearances on their quest to amass even more social media followers.

But not August. Even though she chose not to wear makeup, she didn’t need it because there were no flaws to conceal. She had a beautiful face, with high cheekbones, full brows that she tidied up herself, and almond shaped brown eyes. Her hair often fell into her face since she hadn’t had a haircut in months. Her toned stomach, long muscular legs, and round bottom were often hidden under baggy clothes.

If she ever had to dress up to hold purses and take photos she would wear the clothes her stepsisters discarded after they posed in them for Instagram. She didn’t have any social media pages of her own. With a refurbished Galaxy S7 it’s not like she could take good pictures anyway. As she was engulfed in a game of solitaire, the only thing on her phone other than Google apps that came with it, a woman wearing tattered clothes with her hood pulled over her head stood watching her from a tree a few houses down. She could only see a few grey and black curls popping out from the edges of the hood.

At first August thought the woman was waiting for someone. But after she finished a series of five games, the last one completed in her fastest time yet, the woman was still standing there. It was almost time for her to go back inside to cook dinner. As she put her phone into her fanny pack, the neutral garb clad woman approached her.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” she called out as she pointed to where her phone was now tucked away. “Must be one of your little boyfriends.”

August burst into a laugh with one of those little snorts she always did when something sounded as ridiculous as that woman’s comment.

“Me?! A boyfriend? Ha! That’ll be the day.”

“Why you say that? I’m sure you’ve got a new man every day showing up here with a meal or some flowers or somethin’.”

August couldn’t tell if the woman was homeless and a little loopy or if she was trolling her in a $700 Yeezus outfit. “You’ve got the wrong one, ma’am. The only man that comes to these stairs looking for me is the delivery guy.”

“Well that’s a shame. You too pretty just to be signin’ for deliveries. We gotta find you a little hottie with a body.”

“Yeah, sure. I don’t go anywhere except the grocery store and to pick up takeout. I’m not going to meet any kind of hottie walking from here to 125th Street.”

“Honey! Come on now. You can find you a man from the comfort of this lil stoop you got here. You just gotta use what you got in that lil pockey book of yours.”

August looked down, then back up at the woman. “My phone? Wait, are you talking about that OnlyFans thing? I could literally never, I mean, one, the lighting in my room is terrible. I guess I could get one of those ring light thingys. But what if my stepmother finds me taking photos of my feet?”

The woman’s full face was finally visible as she raised her head to let out a loud belly laugh. Her skin was a sort of caramel brown, and even though there were a few laugh lines, her skin was smooth, her lips were bright red, and her eyes looked hazel when hit by the street light. She was laughing so hard that August looked back to make sure her stepmother wasn’t coming out to see what all of the fuss was about.

“Lord, no! I mean Tinder. Or Bumble. Or Hinge. Or OkCupid. I don’t know, try one or try all but that’s how you millennials date nowadays.”

“Tin-der?” August repeated, “You mean, people meet each other through their phones? And then what? I thought you got dressed up, went out to a bar with a book by yourself, and some cute guy would walk up and offer to buy your next drink.”

The woman blew the air out of her mouth. “Honey, do you think you’re living in 2010 or something? Now, it’s all done on an app. Food, movies, can have it all, literally in the palm of your hand.”

“Hmm. Alright, well what do I do?” August was curious. Instead of playing solitaire, she could steal some moments to look at this new app with men on it.

“First, you’ve got to have some fire photos to post.”

“Fire? Um, well, I’ll stop you right there. The only photos I have of myself are when I pose in my stepsisters' outfits so they can decide whether they hate them or not.”

“Damn, okay well let’s start with maybe a selfie? Here, I’ll use the flashlight on my phone while you take it on your phone.”

August took her phone out of her pouch and went to open the camera. As the woman watched her tap the cracked screen to unlock it she suggested, “Hey, I have the new Pixel, maybe we use mine instead.”

They swapped phones and August took her first selfie. “What do you think about this one?”

Both looked at the photo and then up at each other. “You’ve taken a selfie before, right?” the woman asked.

Before August could answer, the woman had both phones in her hands. Barking out poses and facial expressions as she clicked. “Think about the guy that’s going to be bringing takeout to your house tomorrow night!”

August laughed at the pure ridiculousness of the thought and the woman smiled, “That’s the one! Stunnin’ smile girl. And, look, you can’t even see how tangled your hair is with your head back like that.”

With August’s phone still in her hand, she went to her app store and downloaded Tinder. After a few taps she asked, “What do you want them to call you?”

“My name, I guess. It’s August.”

After a couple more taps and the woman asked, “What age do you want to be?”

“Well, I’m 32, so 32.”

“You’re 32 and you’ve never heard of Tinder?!”

A series of more questions and tapping on the screen continued then the woman handed the phone back to her. “You’re all set. Now, you get to swipe for the man you want. When you swipe left, that means you don’t like them but if you swipe right, that means you want ‘em. If they swipe right on you too, then it’s a match. If you’ve got a match, then ya’ll can talk.”

August’s eyes lit up as the first man’s face popped up on her phone. “So I can choose the kind of guy I want?” Hope shone on her face, “I want him to be tall, respectful, family-oriented, he wants to have kids, likes to stay in and watch reality TV, I hope he’s also okay with moving kind of fast. I want to get married so I can leave this place, and these dreadful, rude, unappreciative trolls behind.”

The woman held up her hand, “No, sweetie. You can only choose how far away they are and their age. Which sometimes isn’t right so you gotta check their bios.”

“Oh.” That didn’t give August a lot to work with but still, it was better than nothing. She could get to know these guys and surely, the right guy for her would be just a few swipes away.

The woman interrupted her thoughts and said, “Okay, well, I gotta get out of here. But I’ll be back to check on your hottie hunt.”

August stood and wrapped her arms around the woman. “Thank you so much! I’m so happy you were just walking by and showed me this whole new world of possibilities. I mean, a whole new app. What’s your name? I never got it!”

“You can just call me your Godmomma.”

She laughed, “That’s sweet! Okay Godmomma, I gotta get inside but I hope to see you around soon!”

“Don’t worry, you will!” Godmomma gave her a kiss on the cheek, leaving a layer of red lipstick behind.


Two weeks later, August sat on the toilet with the door cracked. The glow from her phone screen was the only light in the room. With bags under her eyes, the skin on her left thumb was sore so she feverishly swiped away on Tinder with her right.

It had been 14 long days since she downloaded this app. Her dad hadn’t come home yet since he was doing some kind of deal overseas. Without him there, she was exhausted by the end of the day from being pulled left and right between her stepsisters and her stepmother while taking the train from Harlem to Manhattan for special requests and photo ops. At night, alone in her room, she tried to stay up as late as she could with her back propped up against her pillows searching for the man of her dreams on Tinder.

But so far, she had just been receiving late night messages asking her for more pictures in less clothes, whether she wanted to come over to some guy’s house she had barely spoken with, and even one guy asked, “What dat mouth do?” She wasn’t sure how to respond so she just left him there, one of many in a graveyard of matches she had already ruled out.

She was up until 2, 3, sometimes 4 a.m. every night hoping that the next swipe would be the lucky one. Hmm, a guy that’s two miles away, his bio says that he loves to cook, he loves sports but it’s okay if I don’t, oh, and he even has a photo with what looks like his sister. He’s close with his family, that’s promising. He’s nicely dressed, has a great smile, I wonder how tall he is. Whatever, I’m swiping right.


“Yes!” She yelled out way too loudly for it to be 1:45 a.m. She was supposed to be sleeping so she could get up early and learn a new TikTok dance to teach her stepsisters when they woke up around noon.

As soon as the match popped up, she received a notification. Ray sent you a message. She tapped the notification.

Hey beautiful! (wink face emoji)

“He thinks I’m beautiful?” she whispered to herself as her face began to feel warm.

He didn’t ask her a question so she wasn’t sure what to say. Then she saw typing bubbles. A second message appeared. When can I see that smile in person?

“Oh gosh! Actually meet him?” her mind raced. How was she going to get her stepmother to let her go anywhere longer than the 30 minutes she was allotted to pick up dry cleaning or takeout, especially to go on a date?

Wait! The next night the three of them were going to some sort of PR party hosted by Revolt. She was almost done sewing the bodycon dresses they were going to wear. While they were out, she could meet Ray.

Her fingers slowly typed in, How about tomorrow night?

Immediately typing bubbles appeared. Perfect! Send me your number and I’ll send you a place where we can meet. Sweet dreams beautiful.

Wow, that was easy. She was going to have her very first date with a handsome man from Tinder. She left the bathroom to get started on those sweet dreams he wished her. “Maybe about him,” she said to herself with a giggle.

That was until she heard something hit her bedroom window. Maybe a branch fell, she thought as she turned off her bedside light, laid down, and put one of her pillows over her head. A few moments later she heard several thuds in a row. She got up to see what was making the noise and could see Godmomma waving at her from the sidewalk.

She wondered what the woman, dressed in the exact same outfit as before, could be doing outside her house at two in the morning. With her tattered slippers on, she quietly made her way downstairs to the front door.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered as she closed the door behind her.

“Somebody’s got a date,” she sang.

“How on earth did you know that? It literally just happened.”

“Why do you think I told you to call me Godmomma? I know everything goin’ on.”

August couldn’t understand how she knew the exact moment she got a date but before she could say anything Godmomma asked, “So, what are you going to wear? It’s a first date so you want to look good but nothin’ too revealing. You don’t want him to think you’re easy. Unless,” she paused, “you are?”

With a gasp August replied, “What?!, me? I...I’m so not ea-sy.”

“You never know honey. These dudes from Tinder are somethin’ else.” As she removed her hood, she started to climb the stairs up to August’s door, “Let’s see what ya got in there.”

“Whoa, whoa! We can’t go in there! It’s the middle of the night. My stepmother would kill me if she catches us.”

“I ain’t never seen a stepmama I can’t handle. Let’s go, we’ve got less than 24 hours!”

Godmomma walked past August like she wasn’t there and let herself into the house. She walked straight up to August’s room. As she led herself through the halls, August wondered how she knew the layout so well. Before she could figure that out she needed to make sure they made it to her room without being discovered.

Once they made it inside her room she closed the door quietly behind them and turned the bedside lamp back on. When she turned around, she saw a completely different wardrobe hanging in her closet. She walked over to touch the clothes to see if they were real and her hand was met with colorful tops, long dresses, and print skirts.

“What’s all this?” August said, touching each piece twice just to be sure.

“I figured you could use some clothes that hadn’t been worn before. Try this one on first, I’ve got a good feelin’ ‘bout it.” She handed her a long, flowy, sky blue skirt with high slits on each side that had a matching short sleeve wrap top.

August removed her sloth print onesie and carefully put on each piece. The outfit fit like a glove and showed off her small waist and long legs. “I love it,” she exclaimed in the mirror.

“Good! Now, about this hair. When’s the last time you washed it?”

“Yesterday, but this is just sort of how it looks.”

“Have you never heard of leave-in conditioner?” Godmomma said as she tried to run her fingers through her tangled ends.

She pulled out a fine tooth comb and scissors from some pocket that couldn’t be seen and started to comb through and trim August’s hair. Her coils began to take shape around her face. With a few sprays from a product pulled from some other mystery place, her hair was shiny and bouncy, it had life she had never seen before.

“Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll come by tomorrow to beat your face.”

August spun around with her mouth open. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You know, do your makeup. We gotta get you out more.”

August let out a laugh but caught herself when she remembered where she was and what time it was.

“I’ll take you downstairs,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry, I got it.” And like that, Godmomma left as confidently as she came in.

With one more look at herself in the mirror, August put her hair into a bun so no one would notice how different it looked, tucked her outfit back in the closet, and finally laid down to sleep.


The entire day August couldn’t stop smiling. Except when her stepmother would yell at her, “Wipe that stupid grin off your face and go see if my to-go order is ready!”

As soon as her stepmother turned away, she was smiling again. Nothing could stop the excitement she felt about her date that night. She was humming Alicia Keys songs to herself as she sowed and even smiled through her stepsister spilling her smoothie on her while trying to take a selfie with it. The time for them to leave for their party couldn’t come soon enough.

“Don’t forget to record The Real Housewives of Potomac for us! It may not be the most popular in the franchise but at least they got them classy Black women on there,” her stepmother shouted as the three of them headed out to get in their Lyft Lux.

As soon as the car pulled off, August ran upstairs to let down her hair, opened her laptop, and pulled up the This is Cardi B playlist on Spotify. The music blasted throughout the house while she danced around her room holding her skirt up to her waist. When she spun around, she saw Godmomma standing in the doorway and let out a yelp.

“How did you get in here?!”

“What you need to be worried about is that plain Jane face of yours. Sit down and let me get started on your makeup.”

August did as she said and sat down at the chair by the desk next to her window. Godmomma pulled a full set of makeup from somewhere on her left side of the only outfit August had ever seen her in. She blew off one of the brushes and started dipping it in something that looked like gold. For the next 20 minutes several skin toned powders, some eyeliner, and nude lipstick was applied to her face.

“Done! How do you like it?” Godmomma said as she pulled out a mirror from somewhere on her back.

“Who is that?” August asked as she stared at her reflection. She looked like herself, but also nothing like herself. The makeup was so natural it almost didn’t look like it was there, but it made a huge difference.

Once she put on her dress, careful not to mess up her makeup, and let down her hair, she felt like a princess. With one last spin around as Money played, she was ready to go on her very first Tinder date.


Wearing sandals with small heels so as not to appear too tall, August skipped down the street towards the pin location Ray had sent her a few hours before.

As she waited on the corner for the light to change, a group of men standing in front of a bodega called out, “Aye ma! Where you going lookin’ so fine? You must be lookin’ fa me!”

“No,” August called out with a smile, “I’m going on a Tinder date!”

“Ayeeee, Tinderella!” the man called out as the entire group started singing, “Hurry, hurry Tinderelly!”

She smiled back at them as they laughed and crossed the street when the light switched to green. How sweet of them to be so supportive of her Tinder date that they broke out into song. It was just like one of those romantic movie musical numbers.

Finally at the exact location of the pin on her maps, she waited at the entrance of the restaurant since she was a few minutes early for their 9 p.m. meeting. Whenever she felt someone approaching she hoped it was Ray. The smile on her face dissolved when she discovered it wasn’t him.

At 9:15, she checked her phone. No missed messages. As she finished typing, Everything okay? She felt a tap on her shoulder. Sans smile she turned around to find a tall, handsome, fit man smiling down at her.

“August, right? I’m so sorry I’m late. My meeting ran long. But damn, you look stunning. I’m glad you didn’t leave.”

Ray pulled her in for a hug and he smelled like a mix of lavender and oak. “Of course I waited,” she said into his firm chest.

He grabbed her hand, “Let’s go inside and get a table.”

He asked the host for a table in the back. “More privacy,” he said over his shoulder with a grin. After they were seated he asked her if there were any foods she didn’t eat.

“I don’t eat a lot of red meat or pork.”

“Great! Neither do I. I feel like we’re going to have a lot of things in common,” he said with his smile never leaving his face.

And they did. They both wanted red wine so he ordered a bottle. They share kale chips and grilled shrimp appetizers. They agreed on one chicken dish and one salmon so they could share. Then for dessert they couldn’t decide between strawberry cheesecake or a brownie so they ordered both.

The entire time he sat across from her he looked deep into her eyes. He asked her personal questions about her relationship with her family, what she was looking for on the app, and what she saw herself over the next few years. After a couple of glasses of wine, his hand made his way onto hers.

As he poured out the last of the wine he asked, “So, you said you’re looking for something serious, right?”

“Yes, that’s right. I’m looking for a real connection, sparks, my happy ending. All that kind of cheesy stuff, I guess.”

Ray smiled and pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it. “I totally feel you on that. So, what do you want to do after this?”

She was surprised. She didn’t think she’d be talking about next steps so soon on her first Tinder date. “Well, tonight has gone so well. We connect on so many different things. I don’t know, it may sound fast but I think we could be together. I mean, that’s if you want to as well.”

His eyes lit up, “Wow, we are so on the same page. I’ll ask for the check.”

“Oh, okay, yeah, I’m ready to go too.” Since her stepmother and stepsister weren’t going to get back until late so she was going to allow herself to stay out past midnight. But maybe it was better to be safe and get back home early anyway.

Ray pulled out his credit card and handed it to the waiter as soon as he presented the check. “You know, I know the perfect place we could go after this.”

Her face lit up, so the night wasn’t over. Maybe there were going to head to another bar. Or maybe even one of those cute outdoor gardens with string lights hanging all over. That would be super romantic.

After leaving a 30% tip and signing the check, Ray stood up and reached out for her hand. They exited the restaurant so quickly the lights outside sort of blurred together as they shuffled down the street. A few turns and a 10 minute walk later they arrived at a hotel. Was he taking her to a hotel bar? Those are romantic too, she tried to convince herself.

“Wait here,” he said as he rushed inside. He went straight up to the front desk, leaned back for a laugh, and then retrieved something from the front desk attendant.

He walked back over to the door, popped his head out, and said, “Come in!”

August wasn’t sure where they were headed but the evening was beginning to feel less like The Perfect Date and more like Pretty Woman. She silently looked around the hallway as Ray led her to the elevator. They got on and he hit the button for the top floor.

“I wanted you to have the best view,” he said as he kissed her on the forehead.

A short ride later the doors opened and he walked her over to the door that read Penthouse and tapped his key to open the door. The room was massive. She couldn’t help but think of all of the perfect places for her stepsisters to take photos.

Ray’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, “Get comfortable. Champagne is on its way up.”

For August, getting comfortable meant sitting down anywhere there wasn’t a pile of clothes. So she went over to the lounge chair next to the window to look out at the view. As soon as she hit the seat, Ray’s hands latched onto her shoulders and started massaging them. After a few minutes of kneading he kissed her neck.

The kisses moved from her neck to her lips. His hands moved from her shoulders to the tie on the front of her top. She sat there frozen. Buzzing from the electricity his touch shot through her skin but unsure of how much more she was comfortable with.

“Ding-dong, ding-dong,” she stopped holding her breath, she was saved by the bubbly. Ray walked over to the door to retrieve the champagne and strawberries he must have ordered when he checked in. After tipping the attendant he set up everything on the table and opened the bottle of Stuyvesant with a pop.

He caught the overflowing bubbles in a glass and handed it to August then poured one for himself. They clinked glasses and each took a sip. Then it was back to that deep stare into her eyes.

Ray set his glass down on the table and picked up a strawberry. He licked it and reached out to rub the smooth side of the fruit around August’s mouth. Then he gently pushed it in between her lips and she opened her mouth to bite down on it. A growl rose from his throat.

The top of the strawberry was tossed on the table but slid down to the floor and Ray pulled August up from her chair by her wrist.

“Oh,” escaped her mouth. “Um, so, maybe, I was thinking. I should probably head home because if I’m not there my family might be…” Ray stopped her by putting his finger up to her lips.

“This doesn’t feel right to you? You wanted us to be together right? Then let’s be together.”

“Well, yes, I want that. But, I...I was thinking maybe we take it slow. Like, we talk and meet more times. Then when my dad is back in town, maybe you can meet him. And I can meet your family, too. You have a sister right?”

“Uh huh,” he moaned as he kissed down her neck. “But like you said, we’re having such a great night together, we can’t end it now babe. We’ll definitely see each other again. I meet your people, you meet my people. All that. Don’t worry beautiful.”

While he spoke, Ray was untying the knot on the front of her top. Once it loosened, he pulled it off of her shoulders and tossed it next to the strawberry stem. She watched as they lay on the floor next to each other, hoping they didn’t touch and mess up her shirt.

“Um, okay. Yeah, like you said, we’ll see each other again. Why wait, right?”

“Exactly,” he said as he engulfed her mouth in a kiss.

They had been in the room for less than 15 minutes by the time both of them lay next to each other on the bed completely naked. Ray picked up his pants from the floor and dug a condom out of his pocket. After snapping it on, he climbed on top of her.

August laid there, again, completely frozen. The last guy she had slept with was her last year of grad school but he didn’t last very long and while it did, it wasn’t very enjoyable for her. Since then she’s been left to her own devices. She wasn’t sure what to do. Should she wrap her legs around him? Should she be quiet or loud, whether she was enjoying it or not? She had heard the term ‘dead fish’ once and knew she didn’t want to be that.

Then she looked over at the nearly full bottle of champagne. Maybe she should’ve had more to drink then she wouldn’t be thinking so much. The red glow from the bedside clock caught her eyes. It read: 11:52 p.m. Then she started to panic. She was pretty sure she had set the recording for The Real Housewives but now she wasn’t so sure. Whatever, it’s on demand anyway with less commercials.

While her eyes were darting around the room Ray was busy thrusting away like a jackhammer. Who told men that this is enjoyable for women August wondered. Maybe it’s because they watch too much porn.

“You like it?” he called out as sweat formed on his forehead.

“Mm-hmm, oh yeah,” August moaned.

I guess the first time is always awkward she thought to herself. Next time will definitely be better. Maybe he’s also out of practice. He seems like a nice guy who doesn’t go sleeping around. She let out another moan to let him know she was still there.

Ray laid flat on top of her, she could tell he was in the home stretch because his thrust somehow got faster and his grunts louder. “Oh baby, oh baby. That’s it,” he yelled as he let out a little whimper and curled his arms and legs around her.

She tilted her head from under his shoulder to look back at the clock. 11:55 pm.

After a minute of heaving breathing, Ray jumped up and ran to the bathroom. He threw a towel out, it landed on August’s face as she laid there in the sweat pool on the bed. The water ran for a couple of seconds and then Ray reemerged and picked up his clothes from the floor. He took a sip from his glass and he put on his briefs.

“Why are you getting dressed?” August asked as she propped herself up on one arm.

“Oh, baby, I gotta get home. It’s getting late.”

“Yeah, but why the rush? Gotta get home to your girlfriend or something,” August said as she chuckled.

“Well, yeah,” Ray said buttoning his shirt.

“I’m sorry, what?!” August yelled, as she was jolted into the upright position.

“Yeah, the girl in the photos on my Tinder profile. I thought you knew that’s my girlfriend. We have an open relationship. Normally I’d stay with you but we’re meeting her parents for breakfast early in the morning.”

“What in the fuck is an open relationship? Like, people cheat openly now?”

Ray laughed as he walked over to the bed, leaned down, and kissed her on the forehead.

“The room is yours for the night and it’s on my card so order whatever you want. I’ll hit you later, cool?”

He closed the door behind him before August could answer but it was definitely not cool. She peeled herself out of bed feeling completely confused and used. She couldn’t be with someone who was already with someone else. And it’s not even like she would see him again just for the sex. What in the fuck, she thought to herself, were all guys from Tinder like this?

Her feet lay flat on the floor as she looked over at the clock. 11:58 a.m. She might as well just go home before her night got any worse. If her stepmom got back before she did, she couldn’t imagine the amount of yelling she’d have to deal with.

She dragged herself from one side of the room to the other collecting her top, skirt, bra, and underwear. With the bottle in one hand and her shoes in the other she let the penthouse door close behind her at exactly 12:00 a.m. At the elevator, she raised her hand to press the down button and noticed there was only one sandal in her hand.

“Come on!” echoed down the hallway.

She rushed back to try the door to the room but it was sealed closed. “Ding!” After a quick sprint to the elevator she pressed the button for the main level. A new attendant was standing behind the check in desk.

“Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but I hope you can help me. This probably sounds silly but I just locked one of my shoes in the penthouse.” She lifted her hand to show just one shoe.

The woman behind the desk smiled, “Not a problem at all. What’s the name on the room?”


“Last name?”

“Um, well, actually I’m not sure. This is a little awkward but he was my Tinder date and I didn't get his last name." With her hand on her forehead she continued, "But I don’t need to go in, if I can just get my other shoe that would be amazing.”

The smile straightened a bit on the attendant’s face. “Okay, I see here you all checked in tonight. I can definitely have someone check for your shoe, miss. Not a problem,” she clicked a few buttons and the smile turned into pursed lips.

“I see here that the card on the room didn’t go through. So, if you’d like to check out now that’ll be $2,272.93 for the one night, plus champagne, and strawberries. Oh, and it looks like there’s also a club sandwich to-go on the room.”

The clock had struck twelve and the other shoe had dropped. After realizing her date was headed to the hall of fame for fuckboys, this Tinderella did not go on to live happily ever after.